29th February

Holidays are finally coming. One last paper left on thursday & yayyyyy!

March's gonna be awesome! & so would be June. Supposed to travel w the ovely sogirls to bkk but too many plans crashed on that particular week, so I had to give it up ): But probably UK with the family & Phuket in June with thee IJ girls!! cant wait *_* 

Still looking if I can squeeze in a short trip somewhere somehow, still sourcing though. But Bestie & the usual us are heading to JB for like a food trip + a little shopping :D! eggciteddddd

Im glad such things really keep my happiness level quite high. Somethings have been bothering me for quite awhile. & it had to happen at the worst period of time, before exams. Lost a friendship which I tried keeping for quite awhile. You know that feeling that is quite tiring physically, mentally & emotionally to hold on to something that you've kept holding on all the while. I keep asking myself if this is about forgiveness or being too soft hearted. & honestly, you're the only reason why I find it so hard to trust people so easily. Enough ranting here. 

This week, Econs nearly killed my brains. Thankful that yx is like my every module tutor. HAHHAHAHA. I hope finance paper wouldn't be too bad. Thank God nonetheless for seeing me through so far. Excited to finally be able to catch up with a few groups on people in March :) Whooppp!

Im casting my cares aside

Im leaving my past behind

Im setting my heart and mind on You Jesus

Im reaching my hand to Yous

Believing there's so much more

Knowing that all You have in store for me is good

*feeling elated knowing this*

A decision for the next 2 years

What a beautiful Saturday spent with mummy. Talked about so many things, like how real reality is. Talking about issues close to our heart, close to our family. Im glad we're so open about it and how what mummy said got me thinking so much! Im so blessed with such a beautiful mother, I thank God.

So we got our future worked out for tim & i today. Im gonna walk the UOL path. Super hard to accept but nothing's ever easy. Its like, I either

1. Enjoy my undergrad program and earn lesser in the future (probably suffer financially)
2. Study hard now so I've something to at least fall back on. If I intend to stay in sg i've to go this way. 

Though I thought I might go overseas, everyone in the family is so happy to push me overseas, but i'd really love to stay here. Even though living in sg can be so tough....

So, yep, thats a brief summary of my thoughts. But Im glad after 2 months of thinking through all these, i've finally come to a decision and most importantly got support from the family especially mummy. She gave tim and i money today, she even said she'd feed me until I work. I was super touched when I heard that, & that's why I'd want to always remind myself to set aside my pay for the family in the future. 

I still cant believe an 18 year old girl like me would have to make such decisions now. Okay I mean, I just got my O level results last year. Its still unbelievable for me. Everyone's happy doing their diploma course soon. But nonetheless, God be the center of it all! So gonna mug super hard for the last few semesters and then do my bridging and go for the Aug/Sept intake :)

Thank You for such a day dear God

February

How time flies. Submissions are finally over. Ever so grateful that yx is always there to offer a hand. Yesterday we chiong-ed everything nearly by ourselves cause we've super unproductive group mates. Like we were at diff computers and as if we were in an office sending docs and trying to help each other edit stuff.

I seriously dont even think I deserve 25%, so do they? I mean sometimes I need to stop being so soft hearted. & guess who tells me not to be so soft hearted but tells me I should just give them 25%? YX. whattt, srsly!!

Anyway, I really hate hate hate super hate 830am lessons. I reach school at 9-915. I needa do smth about it. I actually ignore my alarm, actually, i dont even hear it -__- Sigh ):
God please open my ears to Your word, Your voice, Your call and my alarm ^^v!

Time to start studying for exams before I start getting so stressed and going crazy ):!
We dont have our usual 1.5 weeks of study break cause of the cny hols = IM GONNA GO MAD SOON

Life is so tough ): signed some of me & tim's insurance stuff this aftnn & it really made me think a lot about my future. I need to have a stable job to pay off these kinda thing, give $ to my parents and my grandma too. There are so many things I wanna do, but i dont know if I can. Im so scared. Is this all part of growing up? So this is what reality means? I guess. 

But.. Help me learn to put it all in Your hands. 

& have faith in You